Emotional Labour: Often Two Sides Can Take Its Toll

The only way to get what you're worth is to stand out, to exert emotional labour, to be seen as indispensable, and to produce interactions that organizations and people care deeply about. ~ Seth Godin

Do the emotional labour of working on things that others fear. ~ Seth Godin

Dealing with emotions at work or in social situations can be tough.

Emotional labour is the effort we put into managing our feelings to meet the expectations of those around us. Sociologist Arlie Hochschild first introduced the idea of emotional labour in her 1983 book, The Managed Heart. Emotional labour can involve "surface acting," where people display emotions they don't feel, like forcing a smile when upset. It can also include "deep acting," where individuals try to genuinely experience the emotions they need to show, like summoning up empathy for a customer's complaint.

For example, HR managers and business leaders must stay calm and approachable even when dealing with stressful situations, such as managing difficult co-workers or discussing layoffs. Expressing emotions is part of the job, ensuring everyone feels comfortable and minimizing stress. Emotional labour also plays a role in personal and social situations, where we manage our emotions to support social interactions and relationships. For instance, us parents often remain patient and composed with our children, even when frustrated. Similarly, friends provide emotional support by listening to problems and offering comfort, which requires significant emotional effort. During family gatherings, we might hide feelings of stress or annoyance to maintain harmony and ensure a pleasant atmosphere for everyone involved.

While emotional labour can benefit social unity and lower employee stress and anxiety, it can also have negative consequences if overdone or unacknowledged.

Constantly managing emotions, especially in high-stress jobs like healthcare, education, or front-line in-person customer service, can lead to emotional exhaustion and burnout. Prolonged emotional labour can create a sense of in-authenticity, where we feel disconnected from our true selves. For example, us teachers or managers who constantly manage our emotions to maintain a positive classroom or office environment might experience burnout, impacting our well-being and job performance.

Emotional labour is not distributed equally across all demographics.

Research indicates that it disproportionately affects certain groups, particularly women, who are often expected to perform more emotional labour both at work and in family dynamics. Moreover, certain professions and roles as mentioned above, such as nurses, teachers, and service workers, tend to show high levels of emotional labour, often without receiving recognition or compensation. In most cultures, women are expected to maintain family harmony, usually taking on the emotional labour of refereeing conflicts and ensuring everyone's well-being, adding to their workload beyond professional duties.

Understanding emotional work involves noticing the unseen effort needed to handle emotions in different situations.

Recognizing and dealing with the impact of emotional labour, especially its uneven distribution, is important for supporting mental health and fairness at work and in personal life.