Trump: “Mexicans Can Make America Great, Again!”

“Nationalism is power hunger tempered by self-deception.” - George Orwell

"Why join the navy if you can be a pirate?" - Steve Jobs

"A narcissist paints a picture of themselves as being the victim or innocent in all aspects. They will go to great lengths to make you believe it..." - Shannon L. Alder

“Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.” - Will Rogers

"Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own." - Jonathan Swift

In a plot twist no one asked for, political observers are scratching their heads wondering:

Why has Donald Trump now suggested Mexico become the 51st state of America, especially when he's joked about taking over Canada like it's a snowy mineral wealth playground?

Let’s break it down.

“ICE officers are sending people back… and Also Statehood?”

President Donald J. Trump spent a good portion of his presidential campaign yelling into microphones about Mexico. “They’re sending rapists, they’re sending drugs, they're eating your cats and dogs” he said, not exactly the opening line for a marriage proposal.

Imagine turning around and saying, “Also, would you like to become one of us?”

That’s like yelling, and cussing at your neighbour every day for years and then asking them to move in.

Meanwhile in Canada…

Canada, on the other hand, got roasted not for illegally crossing into the United States or sending criminals into USA or sending drugs or guns, but Free trade with maple syrup and a 200% dairy tariff! How dare you Canada tariff US of A!

Trump once called former Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau "Governor Trudeau" and “very dishonest & weak & unfair with your dairy tariffs” which, ironically, made Canada more eligible for statehood under Trump logic.

Apparently, weakness plus 0% tariff on maple syrup equals potential statehood material.

Rumor has it, Trump prefers Canada because “they speak English, kind of, definitely not as well as the President of Liberia, Joseph Boakait,” and because their healthcare and education systems makes him feel dangerously close to socialism, but not quite enough to care.

Mexico: Too Big, Too Brown, Too Complicated, however Trump now believes, "Mexicans Can Make America Great, Again"

Let’s be honest: annexing Mexico would mean absorbing 130 million people, most of whom don’t vote Republican. That’s not a 51st state, that’s an instant electoral apocalypse.

Also, there’s a small bump on the road issue of Trump's 50 billion dollar building a wall to keep Mexicans out, so asking Mexicans to come in to be Americans, might confuse the concrete.

Final Thought: Mexico Is the Ex You Constantly Text but Never Marry, then finally change your mind and commit.

Trump uses Mexico like a political punching bag, he threatens it, blames it, ghosts it, then cuts a deal with it and says “We’re best friends now.” But suggesting statehood? That’s commitment. And, that is political bipolarism, Trump style.

And Donald Trump, let’s be clear, is only committed to three things: winning, golf, and real estate and where to place more Trump casinos and hotels.

So, yes Mexico maybe getting that invite to the United States’ exclusive statehood club sometime soon.

Canada? Maybe, however, after he shook hands with a First Nations leader at the G7 summit, he left quickly to Washington.

Greenland? He tried. His sons and daughters and some of his administration traveled to meet with indigenous of that land and Trump never asked for another meeting.

Puerto Rico? Still on hold. They kind of look like Mexicans, and sort of look like Canadian First Nations indigenous, and similar to Greenland indigenous peoples.

Gaza? Mediterranean Riviera - prime Trump casino real estate, statehood!

Mexico? Join us, only with tariffs. Just remember, I am a Tariff Presidente! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER. MAGA!